Life in Tightwad Junction

A description of the town of Tightwad Junction and the trashy characters ya'll will lurn to hate

Bufurd Chester Jones	A 54 year old white male former refuse technician (garbage man) For more details on why he is now a 'former' trash man, see his diary. The patriarch of the Jones Family. Third husband of Tammy Waynette Jones. Has a habit of bringing his work home, which is a necessity since he is supporting a growing family on his salary of $5.43 an hour. Created and maintains this web site on a TRS-80 he found in the trash dumpster of the local grade school. Rude, crude, and uneducated, Bufurd calls 'em as he sees 'em and isn't afraid of ruffling a few feathers.
The 21 year old matriarch of the Jones family. Married Buford in 1996 after the untimely death of Buford's first wife, Lucille, in a freak accident involving a green tomato, a 1957 Thunderbird, and an overheated portable curling iron. Tammy herself is a two time widow, after surviving both her first husband of four years, and her second husband of two years. Although the county attorney cleared her of suspicion in both cases, the townspeople still are known to tell the legend of the "Tightwad Temptress" and the gruesome deaths of her first two husbands. Tammy is arrogant, material, unfaithful, and has the mouth of a sailor. Barney the Bookie has 5-1 odds that Buford Sr. won't live through the year. As Barney puts it: "His heart, fart, or tart will take 'em home by September, and true to form, Tammy wuz seen hangin around the Pool Hall while Bufurd wuz in the hospital after his unfortunate fart lighting incident.	Tammy Waynette Jones
Bufurd Chester Jones Jr	27 year old son of Bufurd Sr. The black sheep of the Jones family (if there can be such a thing) He never really seemed to fit in, and although Bufurd Sr has been heard to say in a drunkin rage that he luv's him like his a sow luvs her own shit, Bufurd Sr. kicked him out of the family when he was 16. Currently serving 5-10 in Leavenworth for Grand Theft Tractor.
17 year old daughter of Bufurd Sr. It is said that every boy in Tightwad Junction has Georgia on his mind and has had her on his face. Georgia considers sexual conquest as the one sport in which girls were created with the upper hand and doesn't understand why the townpeople whisper and smirk when she walks by. As she has not yet discovered the magic of vinegar and water, she has a habit of bringing stray dogs and cats, as well as boys home to the trailer. When asked to explain Georgia's unique middle name, Bufurd Sr. simply explains it was "easy to remember".	Georgia Pasific Jones
William Jefferson Jones	The youngest of the Jones' clan, Billy was born nine months after the inauguration of our esteemed President, Bill Clinton. Lucille had been a volunteer in Tightwad County for the President and was invited to the inauguration gala. Although Bufurd could not attend because he had to work the next day, he was so proud of his wife's 'contribution' to the Clinton campaign that he named his youngest son in honor of the President.
The 27 year old neighbor of the Jones', Darla is a hairdresser by trade. Darla is Tammy's best friend and a close confidant of Georgia's. Darla is rumoured to be having an affair with Bufurd Sr. AND Tammy, has been known to write a nasty hot letter or two to Bufurd Jr, and the townspeople claim there is a unnatural affection between Darla and her brother, Bubba. Has a certain fondness for Kenny Rogers, and will gladly ball anyone in the city of Branson to get to him. Basically in a competition with Tammy and Georgia to be the queen slut in a town full of wannabes.	Darla Louise Jenkins
Bubba Bo Bob Jenkins	The 23 year old brother of Darla, Bubba has an IQ so low that Forrest Gump looks downright intelligent. Big, Bulky, and Slow, everybody runs from Bubba, even the town ewe. As far as anyone can tell, Bubba is unemployed. He did work for a couple of years for the trash company that Buford Sr. calls home but was let go for "conduct and extreme moral turpitude unbecoming a refuse technician". Seems Puck, the town ewe has a reason to run.
Tightwad Junction, Missouri. A small hamlet of approximately 2500 daring residents located 35 miles north of the Arkansas Line. The town consists of a grocery store, a laundromat, a hardware store, a farm and home store, a bank, a Wal Mart, 2 restaurants and nine bars. The unemployment rate is approximately 27.9%. Major employers: Johnson's Sanitation (75), Wal Mart (125), Amway Distributors (456), Fushiama Plastic Corp (93), Marcus Pholem Coors Distributors (45) and Prostitution (12), (Tightwad Junction is very close to the entertainment mecca of Branson, just ask Kenny Rogers) The city council tries very hard to live up to the town's name, being thrifty in every sense of the word.	The Town of Tightwad
Puck Ewe	The city has a street department consisting of one man and a tractor who normally is off riding his Harley (which he aquired with money from the illegal Far East Tidy-Bowl ^TM black market) and a 8 year old ewe named "Puck" that is utilized for mowing. Puck ewe was donated by a wealthy sheep rancher from nearby Pudwhack. The town employs a police force of three who spend their summers cruising around in their 1967 Chrysler Newport patrol car harassing high school students cruising "Mill Street" and burning wild 'ditch weed' marijuana that has been confiscated from nearby farmers. As a result of their summer pursuits, most of their winters are spent foraging for munchies. The town does have a grade school and a high school (Tightwad Junction Roosters - Home of the Fighting Cocks!) but busses their students to Pudwhack for Junior High. The sports teams are so pathetic, even the cheerleaders have been known to skip games to go get drunk and high. But even so, there still remains a certain pride for the male athletes to state that they are a "Fighting Cock", but just a tad embarrassing for the female athletes, who are constantly mistaken for the East German Women's Bikini Team..

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